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Madam, you are looking very posh in your fancy dress, if I may say so.

Those earrings are a delight, darling and I love what you did with your hair.

i miss them

Okay I do not give a shit about this article at all but where did they get this picture of the skeleton wearing prescription pill armor

Like this is the coolest fucking thing I have seen in a while who made this

is he also in front of the white house?

He's the president

So I thought this was commonly known internet navigation (but apparently it might just be those of us who have been using the internet since the 90's who still know it). Or so it seems based on... a grumpy comment I got.

When you see an arrow like this:

It means you click it to expand out a hidden section.

It's an accordion section/menu! It's useful in web design to hide information that may be overwhelming under specific headers so people can only see what they need.

Here I'm using it for people who need the content warnings to be able to check, but for those who don't need them and don't want to be spoiled to just move right past without accidentally reading anything.

It's still the user's responsibility to click the arrow and read things as they need! But it is all warned. (And, yes, the all encompassing issues are already a tag on the fic, I'm just providing additonal warnings per chapter.)

Ah, sorry yes! For those who want the html, it's the details and summary tags!

Rool

all tumbrlinas come from a common ancestor

this wizard who pondered his orb and liked what he saw

New queer rights around the world : 2023 edition 🏳️‍🌈✨️🏳️‍⚧️

Finland : adopted a law to facilitate transition, no longer requiring sterilization or psychological evaluations

Hong Kong : ruled in favor of the change of one's gender identity without requiring surgery

Spain :

• no longer requires a medical advice to transition
• lowered the minimum age required to transition to 16 (12-13yo will need a judge's authorization and 14-15yo will need to be accompanied by their parents)
• banned genital mutilation on intersex children
• banned conversion therapies
• provided state support for lesbians and single women seeking IVF treatment

South Korea : ruled in favor of a gay couple demanding equal health insurance rights with heterosexual couples, recognizing the legal status of gay couples for the first time in the country

Slovakia : no longer requires a chirurgical procedure to transition

Cook islands : decriminalized homosexuality

Portugal : passed a law banning conversion therapies and reinforcing gender identity self-determination in schools

France : HIV positive people can now enlist in the army

Taiwan : opened adoption to same-sex couples

Mexico : issued its first non-binary passport

Cyprus : banned conversion therapies

Namibia : supreme court ruling recognizes same-sex mariages contracted in other countries

Estonia : legalized same-sex marriage

Nepal : legalized same-sex marriage

One of the best parts about working at a sex shop is the employee discount, and yeah that means excellent deals on sex supplies but that's not the big brain part.

You come to my house. Something is cooking in the kitchen- it smells wonderful. What is it? It's novelty dick-shaped pasta. I've set up a sensual sexy Italian dinner. There are candles set up on the table. They're melting too fast, dripping everywhere- they're low temp waxplay pillar candles. For dessert, I serve you a delicious ice cream topped in penis-shaped rainbow confetti sprinkles and strawberry body paint drizzle, and afterwards, serve coffee with roasted hazelnut warming lube.

We play a board game while we drink. It's sexy monopoly. It's your turn. You roll the dice. They come up as 'whisper into' and 'butt'. I lost the original dice. We're using the sexy dice. You move four spaces.

After dinner, I run you a bath. A bubble bath. The bubble gel? Sensual ocean breeze. There are candles lined up around the tub. The scent is overpowering. Why? They're three-in-one fruit flavored massage oil candles. I'm using so much. It's so wasteful. Do you want to shave? I have conditioning shave cream that smells like limes. And an electric body razor, but you can't use that in the tub.

How about a bath bomb? You toss one in. It's cherry blossom scented. As it dissolves, three sexy bath sex suggestion cards fall out. They're all variations on doggy style, probably because fucking in a bathtub is probably the easiest way to break your hip.

The water cools. You get out an dry off with a novelty towel. If you wrap it around your chest, it looks like you have gigantic tatas bursting through the fabric like the Hulk.

You walk into the bedroom. I'm there, reading an instructional book titled "The Housewife's Guide To Every Day Stripping". I'm wearing a neck pillow designed to look like a massive curved weiner. Also a pair of fake leather bondage leggings and an oversized men's christmas T-shirt that says "Jingle My Bells" across the front.

I see you come in. I put down the book, take off the pillow. Offer you a massage. You accept. I already burned up all the massage candles so I pop a new bottle of CBD massage oil that says something wrong about Chakras on it. It's very gritty. That's because there's little chunks of amethyst in it for some fucking reason. It's fine, though. You say you don't mind.

I don't do massages very often. It's bad. You end up more tense than before. One of your muscles starts to cramp- it's okay. I whip out a bottle of Lidocane topical masculine performance numbing spray. You immediately feel like your shoulder went to the dentist. It's not ideal, but it's better than cramping.

You're not in the mood to bone after that. Which is good, cause I'm actually pretty asexual, but it hasn't come up yet so I'm relieved to avoid the conversation. Instead we get ready for bed. (The weather is terrible, and I insist you stay over.) I set up the futon, then realize it smells like cigarettes from the previous owner and shyly ask if you wanna cuddle in my room. You're down.

I crawl under the covers, placing my penis-shaped pink glitter pride bottle on the side table in case one of us wakes up thirsty. Once you're settled in, I turn off the glowing bare ass night light and the room goes black.

It takes a few seconds for your eyes to adjust, but when they do, you look up at the ceiling. It's dotted all over with little green flourescent lights. Are they plastic stars? No. I've pinned up a thousand glow in the dark condoms. God bless

REBLOG THIS POST IF YOU FEEL SAFER WHEN QUEER SPACES ARE OPENLY ACCEPTING OF AMAB NONBINARY PEOPLE